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18 December 2009 @ 07:42 am

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I think this is the only way I'll get this to work.
10 September 2008 @ 12:17 am
I had this whole long thing written, but I guess it was too long for it to handle, so here it is again.

The other night I was messing around on the internet, like I do, downloading music (G2P FTW!) and decided to look for an album I have on vinyl but had yet to find digitally, "Look Around" by the early 80s Lawrence band Start. And I fucking found it. Holy shit. Now can someone upload some 2 Car Family and/or Ruby Starr and Grey Ghost to an mp3 blog somewhere please?
08 September 2008 @ 10:12 pm
This is the list that's been circulating of the books Sarah Palin wanted to ban from the Wasilla city library when she was mayor. It isn't, really- it's a standard banned book list, but the fact remains that the woman wanted to get books banned. In America. And now she wants to be the Vice President. Of America. Fuck that noise. Anyway, the rules of the meme are to bold the ones you've read and italicize the ones you want to read. And, what the hell, I'm going to star the ones I haven't read but whose movie adaptations I've seen, so I at least know the story.

A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess*
A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L’Engle

Annie on My Mind by Nancy Garden
As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner
Blubber by Judy Blume
Brave New World by Aldous Huxley

Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson
Canterbury Tales by Chaucer
Carrie by Stephen King*
Catch-22 by Joseph Heller
Christine by Stephen King
Confessions by Jean-Jacques Rousseau
Cujo by Stephen King
Curses, Hexes, and Spells by Daniel Cohen
Daddy’s Roommate by Michael Willhoite
Day No Pigs Would Die by Robert Peck
Death of a Salesman by Arthur Miller
Decameron by Boccaccio
East of Eden by John Steinbeck
Fallen Angels by Walter Myers
Fanny Hill (Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure) by John Cleland- Don't bother, it's not even good smut.
Flowers For Algernon by Daniel Keyes
Forever by Judy Blume
- Though I own it.
Grendel by John Champlin Gardner
Halloween ABC by Eve Merriam
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone by J.K. Rowling
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets by J.K. Rowling
Harry Potter and the Prizoner of Azkaban by J.K. Rowling
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire by J.K. Rowling
Have to Go by Robert Munsch
Heather Has Two Mommies by Leslea Newman
How to Eat Fried Worms by Thomas Rockwell
Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou
Impressions edited by Jack Booth
In the Night Kitchen by Maurice Sendak
It’s Okay if You Don’t Love Me by Norma Klein
James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl- Say what now?
Lady Chatterley’s Lover by D.H. Lawrence
Leaves of Grass by Walt Whitman
Little Red Riding Hood by Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm
Lord of the Flies by William Golding*
Love is One of the Choices by Norma Klein
Lysistrata by Aristophanes
More Scary Stories in the Dark by Alvin Schwartz
My Brother Sam Is Dead by James Lincoln Collier and Christopher Collier
My House by Nikki Giovanni
My Friend Flicka by Mary O’Hara - I feel like I've read it, but I'm not entirely sure.
Night Chills by Dean Koontz
Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck*- Actually I saw a play, but whatever.
On My Honor by Marion Dane Bauer
One Day in The Life of Ivan Denisovich by Alexander Solzhenitsyn
One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest by Ken Kesey

One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
Ordinary People by Judith Guest
Our Bodies, Ourselves by Boston Women’s Health Collective
Prince of Tides by Pat Conroy
Revolting Rhymes by Roald Dahl
Scary Stories 3: More Tales to Chill Your Bones by Alvin Schwartz
Scary Stories in the Dark by Alvin Schwartz
Separate Peace by John Knowles
Silas Marner by George Eliot
Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.
Tarzan of the Apes by Edgar Rice Burroughs
The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain
The Bastard by John Jakes
The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger
The Chocolate War by Robert Cormier
The Color Purple by Alice Walker*
The Devil’s Alternative by Frederick Forsyth
The Figure in the Shadows by John Bellairs
The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck
The Great Gilly Hopkins by Katherine Paterson
The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood
The Headless Cupid by Zilpha Snyder
The Learning Tree by Gordon Parks
The Living Bible by William C. Bower
The Merchant of Venice by William Shakespeare
The New Teenage Body Book by Kathy McCoy and Charles Wibbelsman
The Pigman by Paul Zindel
The Seduction of Peter S. by Lawrence Sanders
The Shining by Stephen King - I tried to watch the movie, but I got bored.
The Witches by Roald Dahl
The Witches of Worm by Zilpha Snyder
Then Again, Maybe I Won’t by Judy Blume
To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee

Twelfth Night by William Shakespeare
Webster’s Ninth New Collegiate Dictionary by the Merriam-Webster Editorial Staff- WTF?
Witches, Pumpkins, and Grinning Ghosts: The Story of the Halloween Symbols by Edna Barth

You know, I read a ton of these in high school, thanks to the gifted program's reading list. I may have that around here somewhere; I'll have to look for it.
19 August 2008 @ 03:02 am
Here's the information you'll need to know before you read about this movie that will never be. When I was in high school, we had our own slang. I realize that every school had their own lexicon, but mine was different. People- not everyone, and not always, but it was always an option- took sarcasm to a whole new level. Nothing meant what one would think it meant. Everything was shortened, pronouns were often dropped. When a speaker of IHSarcasm (I just thought that up. It's terrible, I know) was upset at someone, an acceptable method of communicating that was a pointed index finger. This may be an apocryphal story, but one of my classmates, Josh, was in a one-vehicle accident- he ran into something- and afterward, he got out of his truck, walked to the front of the vehicle to assess the damage, and just pointed at it, as if to scold the truck. I remember that people who were new to the jargon had to take some time getting used to things like "Care" or "Probably care" meaning "I don't care." Also, if one was speaking truthfully, the phrases "For real" (pronounced fur rill) and "Swear to god" could be appended to the statement. This is not a comprehensive (or good, for that matter) discussion of the topic, but it's enough for me to tell you about the movie my friend Keil and I thought up one summer. It's called One Rich, Too Rich. It was originally just "Too Rich," which meant crazy or unbelievable (as in Standard English "That's rich."), but because of the plot, I added the "One Rich" part. "One" meant "many" in IHSarcasm, and, since most grammatical rules were suspended, it also meant "very," so one rich meant very rich.

Another thing you'll need to know about for the movie's plot is Ray's Mini-Mart. It's a gas station that sells cheap pop in big cups, called Swiggers. This is a less clinical description of the place. It was written, I think, by Gideon. Anyway, on to the actual description of the fake movie:

A group of young people become angry when a large corporation comes in and tries to take over their favorite convenience store. They organize a movement to keep it the way it's always been, and eventually drive the corporate overlords out. I've never really thought through how that was going to work, exactly. Fundraising or something. A bake sale. I don't know. That's not important. The important part is the language issue- the film is in IHSarcasm, with English subtitles. The only people who realize that the youth of the town speak non-standard English are the bad guys, who become confused when the large protest group shows up at their public meeting about the future of Ray's (suspension of disbelief, please) chanting "Like it, gonna take it! Stay stay stay!" and carrying signs that say "Change Ray's!" and "We Like You!"

And here's the poster:

That's my limited artistic skills and AppleWorks' rendering of a Swigger.

I tell this story at this time because I got an email from the FTOTZ Mix Club saying this:
The theme this round is "Original Motion Picture Soundtrack." Create the soundtrack for the movie of your dreams — be it a slasher pic, costume drama, impenetrable art film, action blockbuster, etc. Or do another take on the "movie soundtrack" theme. Or don't do the theme at all, because, as always, it's OPTIONAL.

I was sitting here trying to think of what to do when it dawned on me: I have the movie of my dreams all sketched out in my head. I even have a song to play over the end credits:

And I just thought of this: "Legal Age Life at Variety Store" by the Rheostatics needs to be on the soundtrack too. This is going to rock hard. I'll AOTM it when I'm finished. Look out recipient!
14 April 2008 @ 06:07 pm
  • 23:07 So Vs. has the Calgary/San Jose game on. And it's the CBC feed. Ahhh. Hockey night for me- after Metalocalypse is over. #
  • 23:41 Woohoo! Two teams I'm rooting for have awesome comebacks in one week. It doesn't matter that it's only game 3 for Calgary, it still rocked #
  • 23:47 How is the new C. Diaz/A. Kutcher movie not just a more obnoxious "War of the Roses"? #
  • 00:03 According to ancestry.com I have ancestors in the 12th and 13th centuries named Guy de la Spine and Randulph de Cocton. #
  • 00:07 And I may or may not be a direct descendant of Jacques Cartier. Right this way. #
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13 April 2008 @ 06:01 pm

  • 13:33 Getting a kids' meal at Sonic. Am an unaccompanied adult. #

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11 April 2008 @ 06:02 pm
  • 21:16 Just got back from eating Mexican food- very very full. Catching up on the new 30 Rock and Office eps on the DVR. #
  • 21:18 Found out where to get good free wifi in town- and it's not McDonald's. Secure your networks, people! #
  • 21:22 Actually, you can get tons of wifi in my neighborhood- like three non-password-protected networks pop up when I turn on Airport. #
  • 21:24 Why am I about to read the Office thread on the FTOTZ? I haven't seen the new one yet. #
  • 21:42 There's a fly in the house, mostly on the ceiling- and the dog is whining and crying because she can't reach it. #
  • 21:54 The fly is dead now. I killed it with the swiffer thing- but I didn't set out to do that. Natty's still looking at the ceiling, though. #
  • 22:20 I have gotten the exact same email from Lush six times in the last 20 minutes. #
  • 22:28 While I'm thinking about Lush- they're getting a store at Oak Park! I can buy the stuff they won't ship now! #
  • 04:34 Hulu has complete episodes of Major Dad. Hot damn. #
  • 17:17 I can't hear the "Have a happy period" ads Regina King does without hearing Huey and Riley Freeman- unintentionally funny. #
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10 April 2008 @ 06:02 pm
  • 19:20 Rob Crow and I have mutual myspace friends. Must add him and all his bands. #
  • 21:55 The dog whined and moaned until I sat on the couch. Now she's asleep behind me. #
  • 22:48 The orifice surgery on the Report reminds me of that The State sketch where Ken Marino was a dentist. Kumquats. #
  • 22:49 I told Natty I had to run an errand later and that she could go with me. Now she's moaning at the door. She's too smart for her own good. #
  • 23:16 I'm not really loving this opium-scented incense right now. Should have lit a candle instead. #
  • 00:19 Just got a text from one of the usual suspects. Hadn't talked to him in a while. #
  • 00:38 Watching Home Movies. The show, not actual home movies. #
  • 00:42 Although if I had a copy of the tapes of old movies my parents have I might watch those. The stuff from when I was a baby is fun to watch. #
  • 00:44 I could probably get some sexin' tonight if I wanted, but, oddly enough, I just don't feel like it right now. #
  • 01:05 Wondering if some of my behavior isn't a way of indulging my exhibitionist tendencies and not confront my fear of intimacy at the same time. #
  • 01:06 I mean, duh. Why did I not figure that out before now? #
  • 01:24 I want to get up and close curtains so I can get nekkid and nobody (read: the cops, though I think it's the non-pervs tonight) can see in... #
  • 01:25 ...but the dog is asleep under my feet, and I don't want to wake her. My text buddy went to bed... #
  • 01:25 ...I'm still not sure why on his drive home he decided he needed to talk to me, but I'm glad he did. I needed the self-esteem boost. #
  • 01:27 I've picked up three or four new followers in the last day. Weird. #
  • 01:28 Oh, it's the new Everyone tab I have to thank for that. It's like the old public timeline that went away a while back. #
  • 01:31 I used the Everyone tab, clicked a random person, and followed the link to his blog- last post there was KU-related. Twitter serendipity! #
  • 01:41 WIll the "In Soviet Russia..." thing ever stop being funny? I hope not. I could probably go see Yakov Smirnov this weekend if I wanted to. #
  • 01:44 Just to make it clear, I don't want to go see Yakov Smirnov, nor do I want to go to Branson. But I totally could. It's not that far. #
  • 02:59 Dish Network is running a test of the National Emergency Alert system. I've never seen that before. Huh. #
  • 14:51 Taking the dog to Sonic. It's her second car ride in as many days. #
  • 14:52 If it hadn't rained all week, we could've gone to the park. #
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08 April 2008 @ 06:06 pm
  • 20:29 Painted my toenails for, I think, the first time since I opened a door over one of them last year. #
  • 20:29 Dude's first name is Mario. If anyone ever deserved the nickname Supernintendo Chalmers, it's him. #
  • 20:29 At my parents' house to watch the game in HD on the big screen. Rock Chalk Jayhawk! #
  • 20:54 Getting my toenails done by my mom. Blue with white stars. Like the sky, not like the flag. #
  • 20:55 There's a storm outside. The poor dog is shaking. #
  • 21:00 There was a song I know in a car commercial a little while ago, but I can't think of the name. #
  • 21:08 It's a very metallic blue, the polish on my toes. Feeling okay about the game right now. #
  • 21:16 Princess Grace, Peyton Place, trouble in the Suez. That was your daily "We Didn't Start the Fire" break. You're welcome. #
  • 21:22 The Jayhawk sticker Roy was wearing made me feel a little bad for giving him shit. But only a little. #
  • 22:19 Fuuuuuuck. Damn. #
  • 22:33 Hot damn. Maybe they can pull it off. Maybe. #
  • 22:47 This might actually happen. Holy shit. #
  • 22:51 Whoo! Rock Chalk mothafuckin' Jayhawk! #
  • 22:52 Expect another KU championship in 2028. #
  • 01:53 Natty is very interested in the storm outside. Luckily she's not scared. She wants to go out and catch rain drops. #
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07 April 2008 @ 06:09 pm

  • 18:43 Just bought Professor Layton... and am going to play it. Now. #

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